Impossible Interviews—no.7
Marie of Roumania versus Mae West
Vanity Fair Magazine, June 1932

DOWAGER-QUEEN MARIE: . . . feel so neglected these days. Nobody reads what I write, nobody wants my autobiography, takes my picture for the newsreel, or interviews me or asks me to endorse a cold cream. No­body cares if my little heart breaks—into print.

MAE WEST: What I mean, Sister, lemme put you wise. Royalty don't get you any place, any more. Today they only want the kind of a Queen they can hold on their laps. Lookit me, for instance. Every other inch a Queen, from hips to whoozis.

MARIE (proudly): Do you mean I'm not a Queen?

MAE WEST: In that outfit, Sister, you ain't even a two spot. Why, you haven't got a royal air.

MARIE (thoughtfully): You may be right although Carol gave me the royal air a year ago.

MAE WEST: If you want to be a real Queen like I am you got to grin and bare it! Take off those black veils. Be yourself, Queen! Show 'em a royal flush!

MARIE: Then will I really be a Queen, like you, Mae?

MAE WEST (reassuringly): Of course, dearie. Aren't we all sisters under the skin?